Could I please have a New King Jesus bible with the words of Jesus in red?
Later that week: Thank you for the bible, but why aren't Jesus' words in red in the Old Testament?
--Could I have a new bible? I don't understand all the old language.
--Could I have a Russian bible? (or Korean or Cambodian, Spanish or Vietnamese, large print)
--I don't read very well. Do you have a bible with pictures?
--Do you have any pictures of Jesus? I want to know what he looks like.
--I need to talk to you ASAP. There's stuff going on that I don't understand.
--Could you call CPS for me? My wife's boyfriend is bothering my kids.
--I need the address for the IRS.
--Could you find my mother and sister for me? I lost touch with them eight years ago. I think they live in Chicago.
--This is my SIXTH kite. Why aren't you answering me? All I asked for was an address book, a bible, a correspondence course, a penpal, a list of approved housing for Spokane, the address of all food banks in my area, and my release date.
--My mother was in a car accident and she's in the hospital. Can you find out how she is?
--Could I please have a rosemary?
--Did you get any crosses yet? You didn't have any the last time I was here, but now I'm back and I'm hoping you have some because I need one if I'm going to stay out of here.
--Dear Chaplain, thank you.